Living in Northern Virginia, I am somewhat used to the transient nature of this area. Our school has many military families and families who work for the state department, 所以我们已经习惯了学生来来去去, 通常在年底. We are used to goodbyes and feel sad when any 家庭 moves. However, Jacob in particular was harder for me to let go of than the rest. As his last day approached in the middle of the third quarter, 我害怕他的举动, 我开始思考这是为什么. 

 

除了全是男孩, 课间精力充沛，课堂幽默风趣, 雅各布不像我班上的其他学生. 从他的外表就能看出来. 其他学生则有隐藏的困难——阅读障碍, 注意力缺陷多动症, 书写困难, 自我控制, 但雅各是个小个子, 这是说他有侏儒症的礼貌说法. He was much smaller than my third graders and as a result, had many physical challenges that the other students did not have. 

 

When I met Jacob over the summer as I was setting up my classroom, I went to work to make the classroom more accessible for him by intentionally placing frequently used books on lower shelves, placing his desk in the front row closest to the door for easy access, 帮他找幼儿园的椅子. And, I prayed that the students would not tease their new classmate who would look different. 

 

好吧, 所有这些都是有益的和必要的, but I did not need to worry about the students teasing Jacob. A few students had met him ahead of time at our school’s summer camps, 他们对他们的新朋友感到很兴奋. The rest met him on the first day and were fast friends with their new classmate. As we settled into the school year, I continued to make adjustments to help Jacob. 我意识到排队是件棘手的事. 如果雅各布排在队伍的后面，我就看不到他了, 而且他跟不上班里的进度, 所以我让他当队长, 我们学会了走得更慢. Sometimes Jacob would fall as we walked—not unusual for someone with dwarfism, 他母亲告诉我. The students learned to stop and make sure he was okay, 即使是那些倾向于匆忙前进的人, 不愿被阻拦的. I also realized that transitions between subjects were hard for Jacob. His shorter arms made it difficult to open his desk and switch out multiple school books and supplies. I solved this problem by seating a student beside him who was especially gifted and patient at helping him know what he needed to get out. Jacob also had some hearing loss in both of his ears, and this desk mate helped him to hear directions or refocus when he got distracted. 就我而言, I learned to repeat myself and make sure he was looking at me when I gave directions so that he could hear me. One student noticed when Jacob could not reach the tissue box and hopped up to help him. Another always sharpened his pencil at the classroom sharpener that was mounted high up and could not be moved. 

 

最重要的是，我们爱雅各布. He was so funny and often had a clever quip during lessons. 笑声是我们课堂生活中经常出现的一部分. 我们从没想过雅各布在想什么, 我们知道他喜欢的所有东西——《正规十大赌博网手机网址》, 《十大正规网赌手机网址》, 课间用棍棒斗剑, 战争的图画, 最重要的是我们教室里的仓鼠, Hamwise Gamgee. 雅各布爱汉姆威斯. 

 

随着雅各布最后一天的临近，我很害怕. 很快这一天就来了. 学生们制作卡片，我们举行了一个聚会. The next morning, I let him hold Hamwise as long as he wanted and after lunch, he departed. 我们拥抱了他，我哭了. 他离开后, 学生们问我为什么哭, 我告诉他们我想念雅各布, 我真的很难过他要搬走了, 但我并没有说出无数的原因. 

 

In the coming days, I saw many notes on the children’s work… “first day without Jacob, I miss him” .... “我想念雅各布。” ..... “我很难过雅各布不在这里.“在一天中的不同时间, someone would mention that Jacob would really like such and such that we were doing, 我们都同意. 渐渐地，音调开始减弱. Then one day I got a call from a mom who said her daughter was coming home and weeping long and loud. We determined that she was grieving over Jacob’s move and that it was time for a class talk about grief. 

 

I started by asking the children if they ever think about Jacob leaving and just want to cry, 即使在最奇怪的时刻. 到处都是点头. I explained that we were experiencing grief and what they were feeling was completely expected and normal. 他们可能想哭, 他们可能会感到愤怒, 他们的感觉可能是随机的, 意想不到的时刻. 然后我们谈到了雅各布. We talked about how God had created his body in a special way, 尽管我们从未解决过这个问题, 他的侏儒症给他造成了残疾. I told them how I was so proud of them in the way they never, 曾经戏弄过他, but always treated him like any other member of our class. I told them how big their hearts were and how selfless because of Jacob. 也许没有意识到, they had learned to look out for his needs above their own during the time he was in our class. 他们学会了走得慢一些, 在他摔倒的时候停下来看看他, and to be his partner in a three-legged race even though they were unlikely to win. 他们学会了注意到他什么时候需要纸巾, 当他需要一支削尖的铅笔时, 当他需要人帮忙拿东西的时候. They clapped and cheered for him when he got a rare true grit award for his lion-hearted performance in P.E. despite his physical challenges, and no one whined that they did not receive an award, too. 在过去的七个月里, they had learned to look out for their classmate and love him well, so it made sense that we were grieving such a dear friend and that his move left a hole in our hearts. And, it made sense that there was a tiny bit of a loss of purpose in some parts of their school day.

 

正如我指出的那样, the students wanted to share memories of our favorite times with Jacob and some cried. 这对我们有好处. I still see notes from time to time about missing Jacob on the corner of a grammar page or a spelling sheet, and I know that it helped to talk about grief as a class. Now we are working on writing notes to Jacob, and we are compiling a class book to send him. 我们仍然想念他, 但我们已经开始接受了, and we are thankful for the big impact that Jacob had on our third grade class. Selflessness is something that we grownups can talk and talk about, but Jacob gave the children a chance to practice it on a daily basis, 它看起来很美. 接下来的几周，他们就要从三年级毕业了, I hope this lesson and practice of seeing and caring for others will stick with them for the rest of their lives.